DSE英文、IELTS寫作範文：Stop Staying Late At Work! Here’s Why You Need To Leave On Time（詳解版）

範文內容說明詳解、規劃、爆Points

Learning English through Workplace Communication 

(中譯: 加班成風–禍害與建議)

2013 DSE P2 Q6 (Mock)

Your boss has found that many people are working in the office overtime. You are asked to write an article describing the situation, discussing the negative impacts, and suggesting remedies to this. 

(about 400 words)

2013 IELTS (Mock)

Your manager has observed that many subordinates are staying in the office very late. You are asked to write an article for the company newsletter, describing this phenomenon, harmful impacts, and give suggestions to improve the situation.  

 (250 words or above)

如要詳細了解文中所用的符號及說明，請按此了解【免費DSE英文，IELTS寫作技巧詳解及範文】

A) 思緒草搞(寫作前): Draft ‘Organization & Content’ before Writing

PPB 三段爆點思維(mindset)   【什麼是PPB三層爆點法（廣東話按此）（普通話按此）】

1. Popularity: 很多人都OT，成生活常態。

2. Purpose: 有些人是搏出位，顯示出能為公司賣命。(心態)

3. Being(內在特性): 引出2句topic sentences 

心法：Intro, Conclusion, Elaboration 都可運用【５大鋪墊：現、他、表、理、讓】進行「內容製定」。

【什麼是5大鋪墊? 什麼是讓步段? (廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】

B) 範文(Target: DSE level 5**/IELTS Score 8 or above)

解讀Key:

【五大鋪墊】 = 【現】現象/現實例子;

【他】他人看法；

【表】個人表述;

【理】道理;

【讓】讓步段/讓步句

   灰底    : 該段Topic Sentence

綠字: 可顯示range of vocabulary(參考下表)的字眼變化

Stop Staying Late At Work! Here’s Why You Need To Leave On Time

Paragraph 1

【現】The clock is ticking towards closing time, and every colleague is finishing the last of their tasks for the day. You decide that you want to stay later to be more “advanced” than the others. Everyone grabs their belongings and politely says their goodbyes to you as they leave the office, one by one. Some of your coworkers might think you’re a workaholic (工作狂), while others may notice your outstanding dedication. In your mind, you believe the more you work, the more productive you are. 【表】However, the extra time you put in is taking time out of your personal life. 

停止超時工作! 這是為什麼你需要準時收工   (原文【直譯】)

【現】鐘錶快要走到收工時間，每位同事正在完成當天的最後工序。你決定想逼留久一點，比其他人更高等。每一位抓著他的隨身物品並禮貌地向你道別，一個又一個，離開辦公室。有一些你的同事可能會覺得你有點「工作狂」，有一些可能會留意到你的突出獻身。在你的思維中，你相信做得越多，即是越有生產力。【表】但是，你所投入的額外時間，是由屬於你的個人人生中，擠出來的。

Paragraph 2

【讓/表】Work can be overwhelming, but it isn’t worth losing some precious time you will never get back. Even if you believe you are doing a good deed for your workplace, staying later can have deleterious (有害有毒的) effects on your physical and mental health, and it does not increase productivity. 

【讓/表】工作可以是壓倒性的(overwhelming)/沉重的，但是，不值得損失那些你永不能重獲的時間。儘管你相信你是為職場做著好事，超時工作可以是對你的肉體及精神健康，帶來有害的影響，而且，也不會提高生產力。

Physical & Mental Health

Paragraph 3

【理】Overworking yourself can cause an excessive strain (拉緊)on your physical and mental condition.  Discussing the avalanche (雪崩) of negative effects on health, we found the extra time spent at work can result in fatigue (疲乏), insomnia(失眠), lack of concentration(缺乏集中力), lack of energy (缺乏能量), and even a loss of appetite (喪失食慾). Moreover, it causes high levels of mental stress (精神高壓), anxiety(憂心) and yet depression(抑鬱). 

【理】過度工作可以導致對肉體與精神狀態的過度拉緊。講到對健康的「雪崩式」負面影響，我們發現這些花在工作上的額外時間會導致疲乏、失眠、缺乏集中力、缺乏能量、甚至喪失食慾。還有這亦會造成高度的精神壓力、憂心、甚至抑鬱。

Paragraph 4

【他】Some studies indicate extreme work circumstances can cause premature death (過早死亡), especially if your job involves a lot of sitting. Other surveys imply working over 55 hours a week can put you at risk of cardiovascular problems (心血管問題). 

【他】一些研究指出過度工作的環境導至過早死亡，尤其是如果你的工作涉及長時間的坐著。其他調查有跡象顯示每週工作55小時以上，可以將你推進心血管問題的高危中。

Paragraph 5

【表】What’s the solution? Recharge your body and spirit, ranging from exercising, resting to spending leisure more.【7+3畫解:如何舉例（廣東話按此）（普通話按此）】 All these are salutary (有益健康的)to both our physical and mental health. If you stay late during the evening without recharging, you will feel tired the next day, as in turn causes you to stay late the next day.【7+3畫解:如何用as（廣東話按此）（普通話按此）】  Obviously, a vicious cycle will be formed to jeopardize your physical and mental condition.  

【表】解決方案可以是什麼?替你的身體、靈魂「充電」，可以是運動、休息、休閒多一點。這些對我們的肉體及精神健康都是有益健康的。如果你遲遲只留在工作間而缺乏「充電」，你在下一天就會感到疲累，於是會順理成章地造成下一天又要超時工作。明顯地，這形成惡性循環，危害你的肉體與精神狀態。

Decrease in Productivity and Job Performance

Paragraph 6

【理】Overworking can cause you to perform a poor job performance. The more you work, the more sleep-deprived(睡眠被剝奪) you are. Sleep deprivation will cause you to feel sluggish （無精打采的）with little to no energy. Furthermore, it can cause you to lose focus on handling important details in jobs, thus lower your productivity.  

【理】超時工作會導致你工作表現差勁。你越工作，你越在剝奪睡眠時間。剝奪睡眠會使你感到無精打采、只剩少量或沒有能量般。還有，這會使你在處理工作的重要細節時，失去焦點，從而降低生產力。

Paragraph 7

【現】A reduction in productivity also brings an economical burden on businesses. When workers are fatigued（無精打采的）and less productive, they tend to be less motivated. Health care expenses caused by fatigue may cost companies millions of dollars a year.

【現】生產力減少可以帶來企業經濟負擔。當工人無精打采及生產力減少時，他們也傾向難以被激勵。因疲累而成的健康護理支出可能花費公司每年數百萬元。

Paragraph 8

【表】So, are there any antidotes (解藥)? Get a good night’s sleep; detach yourself from work and back home earlier. It is important to have a consistent sleeping schedule during the week to perform your best. There are many apps to track your sleeping habits that will help ensure enough time to rest.【7+3畫解:如何用help較好（廣東話按此）（普通話按此）】  

【表】所以，有沒有解藥? 好好睡個晚間眠、將自己從工作分離出來及早點回家。在整週間，擁有穩定的睡眠時間表對表現你的最好，其實好重要！有很多apps可以追踪你的睡眠習慣，這幫助確保有足夠時間休息。

Paragraph 9

【讓】It is undeniable that working overtime is sometimes inescapable in this hectic metropolitan.  Nevertheless, problems resulting from working overtime are ubiquitous (普遍存在的)【7+3畫解:resulted from還是resulting from? （廣東話按此）（普通話按此）】 and it is worth to stir up a hot introspection(反思) within our society.【表】All in all, learn to set boundaries between work and your personal life. Find time for yourself to relax and reaccess(重新處理) any unbalanced priorities that will cause you to lose sleep at night. Only then will all these be beneficial to your health condition, as well as your working performance in long term.【7+3畫解:inversion 究竟如何用? （廣東話按此）（普通話按此）】  

【讓】不能否認在繁忙的國際都市，超時工作有時是不能避免。但是，因超時工作而成的問題是普遍存在的(ubiquitous)，而這值得激起社會中強烈的反思。【表】總而言之，個人生活與工作間要學習定出界線。為自己找出時間去放鬆、重新處理會導致我們晚間失眠的「失衡的優先選項」。可以肯定，這都對我們的健康狀況、我們的長期工作表現有利。

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C)　Vocabulary pool 字彙庫   

透過【7+5音符英語（發音系統)按此】幫助你 (數分鐘解說就能應用的Phonics系統)

增強vocab長期記憶、無痛學曉國際拼音 

本範文的Vocab影片教學（廣東話按此）（普通話按此）

Ｃｉ) Vocabulary／Phrase worth memorizing

Ｃｉｉ) 顯示 Range of Vocabulary　(Paraphrase能力↑）

Cｉｉｉ) Useful Expressions

範文簡潔版

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